“Mistaken Identity”
A true Story.
Since moving to Cyprus some eight years ago, I have, in my work, met some very nice people and some very colourful characters. This Island, and many others like it, it seems, are an attraction to many who wish to either re-invent themselves, just plod along or become a wheeler-dealer.
I met such a person when I moved to Paphos four years ago, a character for sure, he deals in furniture and resembles Fagin from `Oliver`, especially when he handles money of the folding kind, he also has a passion for Antiques, which is why, for this, a true story I have called him LoveJoy.
Lovejoy actually buys and sells furniture; he visits prospective clients in their homes to value their contents and strike a deal that satisfies everyone concerned, but with him being the main beneficiary. On one of these occasions, Lovejoy had arranged to meet a prospective client to view her furniture. As she did not want to waste his time she suggested meeting him at a local supermarket car park, she would be with her friend in a silver Toyota and from there she would guide him to her house. With his diary in hand and Euro`s flashing before his eyes, he went on his way.
On arrival at the designated spot, there was no silver car there so he parked and waited for his prospective prey, client, to arrive. After about fifteen minutes a silver Toyota fitting the description given earlier with two ladies inside, pulled alongside his van. Lovejoy, looking like the snake from theJungle Book (Trusssst in me), looked down and waved, both ladies smiled back and pulled away. Lovejoy followed, keeping a short distance behind his prey so as not to unnerve them, although in truth, the smile had probably already done that.
They turned right out of the supermarket car park and down into the old town,after many turns left and right, they ended up in a short street deep in the old town. Lovejoy thought this an odd area for an English person to live, but with the image of a fistful of euros in his mind, parked behind the Toyota and got down from his chariot: the two ladies looked at him, continued smiling, albeit a little warily now, and proceeded through the gate and to their front door. Envisaging what treasures awaited him Lovejoy followed in hot pursuit, checking his wallet as he did so to make sure he had enough readies should the deal be good.
The ladies opened the front door and went in, Lovejoy followed, still wearing his smile which by now resembled the Fox from Red Riding Hood. On entering the house the two ladies turned around with a look of shock on their faces and shouted at him in Greek: flustered and with visions of the police and prison flashing through his now crumpled mind, he explained in his best English/Greek, which was more Tarzan of the Jungle: “I come to see furniture in house” with added arm movements to convey the language even better which of course made matters worse.
By now both ladies were in full attack mode, they too were now shouting and pushed him down the hall and from the house. Shocked and disorientated Lovejoy went back to the van and composed himself. Anxiously he searched for his cigarettes, cursing the fact that he had come alone, not to have witnesses, but to smoke their fags instead of his own. After a short spell he calmed down, his mobile chirped,it was the woman who he had arranged to meet; she apologised for her lateness and told him she was sitting waiting in her silver Toyota at the supermarket car park and wondered how long he would be, was he nearly there?. Oh yes, he was nearly there alright, undeterred and with the smell of money in the air, he roared off up the road and started all over again. Thank you for reading this blog.
Copyright (c) John Warner
John Warner is a Pandora family member & the author of The Tales of Padistan Bear
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John Warner Author 